The Return of Bubble Bobble

So anyways, do you know what emulators are? I'll tell you what they are. They are totally rad. Totally. Emulators allow you to play console games on your computer. Each console has it's own emulators. Atari, Nintendo, Sega Genesis, and Super Nintendo. They are free to download on the web. Emulator Zone is where I got mine. So now you've got the ability to play hundreds of games from your favorite old console on your computer. Where do you get the games? What a dumb ass question, as if I wasn't going to answer that. You can get the games, called "roms", at many places. My favorite so far is FreeRoms.com. Now, there is a disclaimer involved here. Downloading roms is
technically illegal unless you own the actual game cartrige for that paticular rom. The whole legal aspect is about 86% retarded considering they don't even make any of these games anymore and haven't for years, so the only way to get the game cartrige would be to buy it used from an individual on ebay or something, in which case the copywriters aren't getting any money anyway. But, back to the penalty. I've heard from some pretty reputable sources that if the government finds out you don't have the actual games they will send two of their meanest agents over to stab you in the face. With knives.

So, back to me. I've known about emulators and roms for years but it's no fun to play the games with a stupid keyboard on your computer. I also know that they sell game controllers for ten bucks that just plug right into your USB port. So last Friday I finally got around to getting a controller. That may have been a mistake. I've been up until 2AM nearly every night since because I'm addicted to playing all these old games. I'm not complaining, it's actually pretty much totally rad as I stated above. I've added permanent links to Emulator Zone and FreeRoms.com under the Games links because I, just like the emulators, am pretty much nearly totally rad. So, in conclusion, if you had a Nintendo or Sega system back in the day, go to Wal-Mart or Target and get a ten dollar controller for your computer and proceed to re-live your lazy assed video game playing childhood. (Assuming you do it legally. In which case you would already own all the games and game systems already and would have no reason to play them on your computer.) Oh yeah, and don't forget to cheer on the Hawks this Monday as they prepare to dine on fresh Gator meat. HA! That's gonna be so much totally rad I bet.

Oh, by the way, here is the Survival Guide to Drunken New Year's Eve Sex. Instructions for people with and without significant others.

Oh, and another by the way. This story is one of the sickest and most amazing things I've ever read. Let's just say it involves masturbating, a swimming pool, and a guy's intestines being sucked out through his butthole..... wow.

All the good stuff happens in Florida.

Students Arrested For Oral Sex In Classroom

JACKSONVILLE, FL -- Three First Coast students are facing criminal charges after a teacher says they were involved in oral sex in the classroom. Christopher Lemay, 18, is accused of paying a 16-year-old-girl to perform the act on another boy at Sandalwood High. Those two are under-age, so First Coast News is not releasing their identities. Sandalwood administrators say the act happened under a table in a large class full of students, so the teacher had limited visibility. The news is catching even veteran educators by surprise. "It is not indicative of any school in Duval County," said Acting Principal Jack Shanklin. "I've been in education a long time and I have never seen a situation like this in any educational setting," he said. All three students have been assigned to alternative schools.

Created: 12/13/2005 6:38:11 PM
Updated: 12/14/2005 4:57:19 PM
© 2004-2005 First Coast News. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, rewritten, or redistributed.

The part I like best is Pricipal Jack Shanklin's quote - "It is not indicative of any school in Duval County." Because, as we all know, in neighboring Clay county's schools they are suckin' dicks like crazy. I do feel sorry for Chris Lemay though. Someone should explain to him that he's got this pimp thing all wrong. The guy is supposted to pay YOU to get head from the ho. He's never gonna make any money the way he's going about it. I guess that's just indicative of our declining educational system.

PBF.com

Santa Plans Retaliation

North Pole, Arctic Ice Cap - In response to the actions of Ron Storia of Maimi Beach, FL, Kris Kringle aka Santa Claus is planning revenge with colleagues of the highest caliber.

Santa's was enraged by a story he read on local6.com this morning while enjoying his daily irish coffee. "I was just relaxing and perusing through the internet news and was shocked to see some douchebag hung me from a tree. I brought that little asshole a top of the line BMX bike for his 10th Christmas. Where's the grattitude?"

Santa immediatly began planning revenge for this atrocious act. "I've been able to ignore the increasing hostility toward Christmas the last few years, but this is just too much. You want a piece of me Ron? Be careful what you wish for. I've been known to grant wishes from time to time."


Rumor has it Santa has recruited two wild and crazy hooligans to assist in his counter-attack. Back from a year long tour of small bars in the midwest with very poor attentdance, Diamond David Lee Roth agreed to be the first member of the YTR... Yule Tide Renegades.

Diamond Dave had suggested a second member for the team. A man who was no stranger to death and danger. A man with flowing chest hair and angelic singing voice loved by thousands in Germany. Thats right, the Hoff.

At the time of publication for this story Mr. Kringle was in negotiations with a secret operative (code name JC) about a third member of the dreaded YTR. Known for a bulging groin, decadent partying, and grinding vocals, Bon Scott of the rock and roll band AC/DC has been leaked as this possible third member.

When asked how Bon Scott could help considering he choked on his own vomit and died 25 years ago Santa replied, "You don't know JC..... he has connectoins."

When asked what he was planning to do to Mr. Storia, Santa replied, "Bags of poop, eggs, toilet paper in his trees, maybe even the old plastic wrap on the car trick. We are going all out. When you fuck with the Santa, you just may get the Claus."

Good luck boys, YTR 4 life.

Joy Happy Fun Time

Herro. Welcome joy happy fun time. When have joy happy fun time there is much happy involved. If you no have happy, then you should do the go to hell. When happy comes also comes joy and fun time. This is obvious thing. If you are no knowing this thing then you stupid son bitch. Enjoy your staying in joy happy fun time and remember to not be stupid son bitch.

Click here for story about how much I am having power strength.

Loving you with joy and smile,
Kung Pao Jim