NEW! Folgers EXTREME!

This coffee bean looks a bit like a vagina. But this litte vagina is packed with 25 times the caffeine.


Folgers is rolling out a new Extreme product to relate to the Extreme generation of new coffee drinkers. The caffeine levels are so high, I mean.. Extreme, you have to sign a release form at the store just to walk out the door with it. They have hired me to write some new words for the classic Folgers jingle you hear on their commercials. I think I've done a pretty Extreme job. Stop over maybe I'll sing it for you sometime.


what the fuck you gonna do
when the aroma runs wild on you
probably nuthin, cause there's nothin you can do
the fuckin best part of wakin up
is fuckin folders kickin your butt

when you've been drinkin all fuckin day
and you need to be on your way
its time for folders extreme, like injecting crack into your veins
its the best part of wakin up
a near stroke with every cup

folders extreme will get you lit
we recommend only a few sips
just ask juan valdez, he robbed a bank while on this shit
its still the best part of wakin up
but...don't drink to much or you'll be fucked