Back in the time when the Sasquatch ran free and his cousin the Yeti owned 96% of all business exports in Denmark, there was a man. This man was really cool. This man was cooler than you. Much cooler. So cool was this man that you could only speak his name in his native tongue, and only in a whisper. Jeremy. Shhh. Not so loud dipshit. Jeremy loved chicken. I should say Jeremy loved chickens, not chicken. He loved chickens in very inappropriate ways. Jeremy once caught the bird flu just so he could have something living inside him that was once in a chicken. Jeremy was possibly not so cool. Forget what I said about him earlier. This is all beside the point. The point is that in the time of the Sasquatch and Yeti times were good. Times were very good. Prosperous you could say. Could you say prosperous? I suppose I shouldn't assume you can say prosperous, not everyone can you know. I feel bad now for being prejudiced against people with speach impediments and assuming they can pronounce a word that possibly they have tried and tried to pronounce their entire lives and are on the verge of a breakdown and all it takes is just one more insensitive bastard to mention that one single word to drive them over the edge. I'm sorry. That's a lie, I'm not sorry. I recognize your burden but it's really not my problem. Anyway, on with the story. The Sasquatch was strong. The Yeti had smarts. Together they were virtually unstoppable. Unfortunately they were never together. They were held apart by the racism and oppression that were the 1980's. Damn those sons of bitches. Damn them. In 1980's Denmark things were hard for a Yeti, sometimes just getting to the store and back without hearing a racial slur was considered a victory. Wait, that's not true at all. Just above I said that times were good. Prosperous even. Let's talk about something else. Hey, remember that time our friend Travis jumped out of our second story window completely naked in the middle of winter and landed in a frozen snowbank and came back in all scratched up and bloody. That was awesome.