Chubby Beach Flasher Strikes Again!
The New Hampshire Chubby Beach Flasher is on the loose and he's got his underwear on his head. You may be wondering, "Nickhead, where were you when this happened?" I know it seems a bit suspicious but I swear it wasn't me. Here is the real article followed by an exclusive interview with Chubby O'Flashermalley by the Manbeast Gazette.
N.H. Police Warn of Chubby Beach Flasher
RYE, N.H. (AP) - Police are warning of a male flasher on the beaches of Rye. They're responding to a report that a woman was flashed at Odiorne State Park on Friday, and have noted that the flasher's description - a white male, about 55, with a chubby belly and gray chest hair - is similar to that of a man who exposed himself to beachgoers last year.
That man has not been caught, though last year a woman reported being fondled by a flasher at Odiorne Point. Police say reports of the flasher - who uses underwear to mask his face - have been sporadic through the years.
06/21/06 20:48 © Copyright The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained In this news report may not be published, broadcast or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.
Chubby Beach Flasher Speaks Out
RYE, N.H. - Manbeast Gazette's own Eugene McHossenfefferhasslehoff recently sat down with New Hampshire's Chubby Beach Flasher to discuss his actions and the impact they have had in the quiet community of Rye, NH and, in turn, on the world.
Eugene - Hello there, have a seat. So what should I call you? I assume Chubby Beach Flasher isn't very complementary.
CBF - No you're right. I prefer Fatass Nakedballs. Hahah! No, actually you can call me Horace, all my friends do.
Eugene - Ok, Horace it is. Horace as I look at you a couple things stand out. One, you're completely nude, and two, you are wearing soiled briefs on your head. Are you trying to start a new style trend, or is this some sort of uniform for your work?
CBF - First of all what you see is not "soiled briefs on my head", it's a mask. It may be true that they were worn as underwear for a year or three previous to their new life as a mask, but they are a mask all the same. Think of Spiderman or Batman, their indentities needed to be hidden for them to perform their jobs, same as me.
Eugene - So you are something of a superhero? I'd have to argue that showing beachgoers your grey-haired genitals doesn't really compare to fighting crime with super powers.
CBF - You can't tell me Batman never flashed at least the tip of the Batcock at some point.
Eugene - Batman is a comic book character.
CBF - What's your point?
Eugene - I guess my point is.. what good is coming out of your actions? Batman saved lives, does your old dick save lives?
CBF - Come on I'm not that old. And yes, it could. If I were to train it to do so. But my duty is not to save lives. My duty is to bless the beach public with my hairy balls and sugary grey chest hair, and for me to continue with my duty, I need to keep my identity concealed.
Eugene - Fair enough. Thanks for taking the time to chat with us Horace. Would you mind if we took a photo of you to show the world this new breed of superhero?
CBF - I'd be happy to. Do you have a different hat or something, my mask smells like shit. Hey, you won't show my face will you?
Eugene - You have my word.
N.H. Police Warn of Chubby Beach Flasher
RYE, N.H. (AP) - Police are warning of a male flasher on the beaches of Rye. They're responding to a report that a woman was flashed at Odiorne State Park on Friday, and have noted that the flasher's description - a white male, about 55, with a chubby belly and gray chest hair - is similar to that of a man who exposed himself to beachgoers last year.
That man has not been caught, though last year a woman reported being fondled by a flasher at Odiorne Point. Police say reports of the flasher - who uses underwear to mask his face - have been sporadic through the years.
06/21/06 20:48 © Copyright The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained In this news report may not be published, broadcast or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.
Chubby Beach Flasher Speaks Out
RYE, N.H. - Manbeast Gazette's own Eugene McHossenfefferhasslehoff recently sat down with New Hampshire's Chubby Beach Flasher to discuss his actions and the impact they have had in the quiet community of Rye, NH and, in turn, on the world.
Eugene - Hello there, have a seat. So what should I call you? I assume Chubby Beach Flasher isn't very complementary.
CBF - No you're right. I prefer Fatass Nakedballs. Hahah! No, actually you can call me Horace, all my friends do.
Eugene - Ok, Horace it is. Horace as I look at you a couple things stand out. One, you're completely nude, and two, you are wearing soiled briefs on your head. Are you trying to start a new style trend, or is this some sort of uniform for your work?
CBF - First of all what you see is not "soiled briefs on my head", it's a mask. It may be true that they were worn as underwear for a year or three previous to their new life as a mask, but they are a mask all the same. Think of Spiderman or Batman, their indentities needed to be hidden for them to perform their jobs, same as me.
Eugene - So you are something of a superhero? I'd have to argue that showing beachgoers your grey-haired genitals doesn't really compare to fighting crime with super powers.
CBF - You can't tell me Batman never flashed at least the tip of the Batcock at some point.
Eugene - Batman is a comic book character.
CBF - What's your point?
Eugene - I guess my point is.. what good is coming out of your actions? Batman saved lives, does your old dick save lives?
CBF - Come on I'm not that old. And yes, it could. If I were to train it to do so. But my duty is not to save lives. My duty is to bless the beach public with my hairy balls and sugary grey chest hair, and for me to continue with my duty, I need to keep my identity concealed.
Eugene - Fair enough. Thanks for taking the time to chat with us Horace. Would you mind if we took a photo of you to show the world this new breed of superhero?
CBF - I'd be happy to. Do you have a different hat or something, my mask smells like shit. Hey, you won't show my face will you?
Eugene - You have my word.
BUSTED
posted by Nick at 10:20 AM
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