Hot Pink Destruction

These two were extra "happy" for each other. If you know what I mean.

Back in 1989 Powerslam magazine interviewed an up-and-coming tag team called the Rockers. Marty Jannetty is on the left and Shawn Micheals is on the right. Below is the unedited version available for the first time ever. Enjoy.

Powerslam: Welcome gentlemen. Congratulations on your recent victory over Leaping Lenny Poffo and Koko B. Ware.

SM: Woohoo! Thanks man. That was a tough match. We got real sweaty.

MJ: Yeah you were lookin pretty hot Shawn.

SM: Hell yes I was. Thanks MJ.


Powerslam: Ok then. So where did you two come up with the image for the Rockers?

MJ: It's a funny story really. My 12 year old sister actually designed our outfits. She promised us they would be totally rad, and as you can see she certainly wasn't exaggerating.

SM: My favorite part are the multicolored tights. I keep telling MJ his ass looks completley delicious in them, but sometimes he blushes so I try not to embarass him.

MJ: Shawn you're too crazy, someone's getting punished when we get back to the locker room, hehe.

SM: Stop it you (giggle giggle). But anyway, our hair is styled at the Cuttin' Corral by Jim Bob. He suggested the NASCAR mullets to project the image that we rock really hard, which works for us since we are the Rockers.


Powerslam: Sorry about that noise. That was just the GayDar alarm going off.

SM: What do you mean?

Powerslam: Nevermind. So all the female fans out there are dying to know, do you guys have girlfreinds?

SM: The road is hard, man. Although we'd both love to find that special someone, we just travel so much that we can't really be tied down.

MJ: Yeah after the match we barely have time to get back to the hotel and plan our next match in our room before getting into bed. This life's not for everyone.

Powerslam: So you two share a hotel room on the road?

MJ: Yeah of course. We even sleep in the same bed. It's all part of being a team you know? The tag team that sleeps together wins together, you know that old saying.

Powerslam: No, can't say I've heard that one. But on a similar note, Davey Boy Smith was recently quoted in last months issue of Powerslam saying, "I hate wrestling the Rockers. Those two are the gayest wrestlers to step into the ring since Adrian Adonnas. I'm never sure if they are going to body slam me or butt slam me."

SM: Oh no he diii-ent. He said that?! He's gonna pay for that one. He's gonna pay deeply, real deep, prolly all the way in...... I mean.... I'm totally gonna kick his ass now!

MJ: Damn right, Shawn. We are gonna fuck the shit out of you Davey Boy... no that didn't come out right. I mean you're fucked buddy, and we are the ones that will be doing the fucking. Damn it. I'm having some trouble getting this out. We're totally gonna kick your ass, Davey Boy!

Powerslam: I'll just pretend I didn't hear any of that. Next question, the rumor is that you two are working on a new finishing move and have chosen to reveal it to us today in this interview, so lets have it boys.

SM: Yes we are very pround of it. Its called the Slippery Slider.

MJ: Its a very complex move that we've been working on for years now. It requires that the wrestlers be very sweaty, so sweaty, in fact, that we have had to use a lubricant like KY Jelly when practicing.

SM: Yes and its going to be difficult to re-create in an actual match because so far we have only practicing while naked.

Powerslam: I don't think I need to hear anymore.

SM: No no, you have to hear this, we've been working on it forever. I get behind my opponent while both of us are standing and crouch down a bit and then proceed to slide up and down on his back for a couple minutes, then when he is thoroughly tuckered out I shove him to the ground.

Powerslam: You two realize that you are both flaming homosexuals, right?

SM: What?! Whatever! We don't have to sit here and take this. You'll be hearing form our lawyer, we don't tolerate slander. Come on MJ, lets get out of here hun.......uhhhh, i mean hun...ter and destroyer....of....opponents. Fuck.