Medieval Times - A Poem

Back in the days of the sheild and the sword
A man walked the earth with a magical gourd
With a mind that was wise and reflexes quick
He had big smelly feet and a big smelly.......dog. A German Sheperd. His name was Horace.

One day on his quest he came upon some trouble
A stranded young whore whose butt was a bubble
She said to the man, "Today you're in luck."
"If you give me a ride, I'll give you a free.... cup of tea at my house."

Once inside she gave him tea and a muffin
But what she really wanted was hot dirty lovin'
She said "How is your muffin? And please won't you sit."
"The muffin is fine but the tea tastes like..... raspberry, it's quite good. Thank you."

While looking around he saw a gigantic candle
The whore said "It's pretty but it's too much to handle."
The man was confused and he asked her "What?"
"If you push really hard you can stick it in my.... cupboard, it clashes with the rest of the room I know, but it was gift."

Fishished with tea he wiped his mouth on his sleeve
He farted then yawned and stood up to leave
Not wanting him to go, the dirty whore stalls
"Stay for a bit and I'll fondle your.... hair, its so shiny and clean..healthy, its healthy."

"Thank you my dear that sounds quite nice."
"But I've just had it done, does it look like vanilla ice?"
She said "Call me sometime and we'll go get some slurpies"
"No no, the rumor around town is that you have got.... no money, and I can't afford to be buiyng slurpies for every damn whore in town."

By Nick Gates
http://informationwhore.blogspot.com
10/5/06 2006