Sasquatch and Yeti - The Saga Continues
"You're gonna pay, fucker." Those were the first words uttered by our hero as he awoke in his jail cell. His head was pounding like the fists of a thousand angry squirrels hungry for nuts. He had endured a savage beating by the police after his arrest for the unauthorized biography of Sasquatch and Yeti. Nickhead Manbeast now had a purpose, an unstoppable driving force. He would have his revenge, even if it took his life.
The high class call girl slipped on her sweaty underwear and got out of bed. Yeti was sprawled out on the gigantic bed smoking a cigarette and grinning like a douchebag.
"Don't be shy, baby. I know that's probably the best you've ever had.", said the Yeti.
"Whatever you say Mr. Yeti."
"Come on, you can be honest. I've been told once you go furry you'll come back in a hurry."
The call girl smirked a little. "Well if you want me to be honest, you kinda smell like a wet dog rolled in hot garbage, and your breath, my god! Did you have cat turds for lunch, Rover?"
Yeti slowly got up, still grinning the same stupid grin. "Maybe this will make up for it, sugar tits." He reached over to the night stand toward his wallet, but instead of grabbing it he quickly spun around and unleashed the bitch slap to end all bitch slaps, sending the high class whore flying through the air and through the window of their 10th story hotel room. Screaming she plummeted and came crashing down onto the roof of a maroon Nissan Sentra. Yeti calmly walked over to the broken window and looked down and the bloody mess. "Cat turds, hehe. That's pretty funny." Just then the door of the Nissan slowly opened with the grinding sound of twisted metal. A man stepped out and and turned around looking directly up at Yeti. Yeti recognized him, but couldn't believe his eyes. It was Manbeast. 'He should have been locked up for decades', thought Yeti. Manbeast pointed at Yeti then dragged his thumb across his neck in a throat cutting motion. Manbeast then got back in the damaged Nissan and pulled away, sending the dead hooker rolling off onto the street below.
Just then the phone rang in Yeti's room. Startled, he sharted a bit into his fur and ran to the phone.
"Yeti?"
"Yes, this is Yeti."
"Yeti it's me, Harry Sakanuts."
"Wait, who?"
"It's Harry Sakanuts, you're agent, what the fuck is going on here Yeti?"
"Wha.. what do you mean Harry."
"Yeti, Sasquatch was just found dead."
"No. No that can't be. I know he had been suicidal but we had plans to take over the world with our skills. I can't believe he did it."
"Yeti this was no suicide. Sasquatch had been waterskiing on Lake Lickatitty when the driver of the boat sped to over 100 miles per hour sending Sasquatch over a ski ramp and flying into a nearby Arby's. When the police found the boat it had a phrase spray painted in red on the hull. It said, 'The world will know the truth.' Now I'm asking again Yeti. What the hell is going on."
The high class call girl slipped on her sweaty underwear and got out of bed. Yeti was sprawled out on the gigantic bed smoking a cigarette and grinning like a douchebag.
"Don't be shy, baby. I know that's probably the best you've ever had.", said the Yeti.
"Whatever you say Mr. Yeti."
"Come on, you can be honest. I've been told once you go furry you'll come back in a hurry."
The call girl smirked a little. "Well if you want me to be honest, you kinda smell like a wet dog rolled in hot garbage, and your breath, my god! Did you have cat turds for lunch, Rover?"
Yeti slowly got up, still grinning the same stupid grin. "Maybe this will make up for it, sugar tits." He reached over to the night stand toward his wallet, but instead of grabbing it he quickly spun around and unleashed the bitch slap to end all bitch slaps, sending the high class whore flying through the air and through the window of their 10th story hotel room. Screaming she plummeted and came crashing down onto the roof of a maroon Nissan Sentra. Yeti calmly walked over to the broken window and looked down and the bloody mess. "Cat turds, hehe. That's pretty funny." Just then the door of the Nissan slowly opened with the grinding sound of twisted metal. A man stepped out and and turned around looking directly up at Yeti. Yeti recognized him, but couldn't believe his eyes. It was Manbeast. 'He should have been locked up for decades', thought Yeti. Manbeast pointed at Yeti then dragged his thumb across his neck in a throat cutting motion. Manbeast then got back in the damaged Nissan and pulled away, sending the dead hooker rolling off onto the street below.
Just then the phone rang in Yeti's room. Startled, he sharted a bit into his fur and ran to the phone.
"Yeti?"
"Yes, this is Yeti."
"Yeti it's me, Harry Sakanuts."
"Wait, who?"
"It's Harry Sakanuts, you're agent, what the fuck is going on here Yeti?"
"Wha.. what do you mean Harry."
"Yeti, Sasquatch was just found dead."
"No. No that can't be. I know he had been suicidal but we had plans to take over the world with our skills. I can't believe he did it."
"Yeti this was no suicide. Sasquatch had been waterskiing on Lake Lickatitty when the driver of the boat sped to over 100 miles per hour sending Sasquatch over a ski ramp and flying into a nearby Arby's. When the police found the boat it had a phrase spray painted in red on the hull. It said, 'The world will know the truth.' Now I'm asking again Yeti. What the hell is going on."
To be continued.........
posted by Nick at 11:36 AM
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