Tech call logged 6/15/06 9:50AM

Clueless, old, and pissed. The perfect combination for a buttlog worthy tech call.

Mean Lady - Yeah my inner-net hasn't worked since Sunday.

Me - Well, I'm sorry to hear about your trouble, do you just have the one computer?

Mean Lady - No my son has one and it's working fine.

Me - Well I just checked your cable modem and it's online, and if the other computer in the house is online that verifies that the connection is ok on our end. Let's go to your computer and.....

Mean Lady - (Politely not allowing me to finish) Well why the hell isn't mine working?

Me - I don't know ma'am we need to do some troubleshooting. What happens when you open your internet browser?

Mean Lady - What?

Me - On your computer. What version of Windows are you using?

Mean Lady - Windows? What's that mean?

Me - The operating system on your computer. Is it Windows or Macintosh?

Mean Lady - I have windows when it starts up.

Me - Ok, go ahead and open your internet program and tell me what happens.

Mean Lady - (Shouting to someone in the background) Open the inner-net! (Talking to me) It says page can't be displayed.

Me - What website are you trying to open?

Mean Lady - (Still shouting back) What's the website?! (Talking to me) Internet Explorer.

Me - That's not a website that is the program you are using. It should list the website you are trying to look at up in the address bar at the top of the page.

Mean Lady - (Shouting back again) What's in the address bar?! (Guy in the background) It says Internet Explorer.... can't be displayed! (Mean Lady says this back to me.)

Me - Ma'am, Internet Explorer is the program you are using it's not a website. The website will be typed in the address bar, it will say something like www.msn.com or www.yahoo.com or something like that.

Mean Lady - (Getting aggravated.) Well there ain't no address bar just Internet Explorer and it says it can't be found. It ain't workin.

Me - Well ma'am we are trying to find out if the website you're trying to go to is valid and to possibly try another website if that is the case. Since the other computer is working and I can verify that the cable modem is working ok then we need........ (click)

The bitch hung up on me. These people honestly baffle me. If you don't know what a WEBSITE is, what could you possibly be using the internet for. It's called a WEBSITE, BITCH! That's what the internet is! A collection of fucking WEBSITES! Yes, the online bingo you play for 10 hours a day is on a WEBSITE!