Winkler's Troubles - Part II

Here is Winkler's Troubles - Part I.  Read it first, duh.

13 hours later.  Axl  awakens in a dark room with sunlight cracking through dirty curtains above his head.  He’s lying on a couch that smells like balls and Febreeze.  

“Hank? Henry? Fonzarelli?”

“Auuughh. AUUUGHH!”

“FrankenHank?”

“Aaaa.  Aaaxel.  Is that you?”

“Yes!  Where are you Fonzy!?”

“Down .. down here.”

Axl looked down to find Henry Winkler on the floor hopelessly intertwined with what appeared to be three vagrant hookers.

Winkler said, “Axl, listen closely.  I’m going to need you to move Unicorn’s leg.  Just move it enough so that I can wiggle ‘little fonz’ out of danger.”

“Unicorn?”

“Yes, this is Unicorn and her two partners, Fairydust and Joan.”

“Joan?”

“God damn it, Axl, she was filling in for the Ice Queen, can we please move on!?”

Axl slowly grabbed Unicorn’s ankle and began to slide her leg off the Fonz when she suddenly awakened and leapt up.

“Holy shit you’re Axl Rose!   AAAAAHHHHHHH!”

Unicorn jumped at Axl .  He quickly moved to his left and Unicorn flew by, breaking through the window behind the couch and falling 4 stories to the ground.

THUMP.

Axl turned and looked out through the shattered window.

“Oooh fuck.  Oh fuck. Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck.”

KA-SLAP!!

“Control yourself, Axl!”  Winkler said. “We need to get out of here.”

“Dude, that girl just..”

“I know!  We can’t worry about that right now.  We have to get out of here, NOW.”

Henry Winkler grabbed his pants and a half empty bottle of Crown Royal from the coffee table.  He looked at Fairydust and Joan who were both still completely unaware in a drug and alcohol induced sleep.

“Come on, Axl, you hungry?  I’m pretty sure Denny’s is always open.”

"No man, I'm not hungry!  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? DENNY'S!?  This girl just died, man!"

"Look, Axl. A little saying that sums up rolling with the Fonz that you can take to heart. If you ain't gettin' me drugs or givin' me head, then you're worthless as fuck so might as well be dead."

Axl nodded and agreed to go for a Grand Slam breakfast at Denny's, but now knew this chance encounter with Henry Winkler had become his waking nightmare. Was there any chance he could survive this lunatic?

Winkler's Troubles - Part III coming soon