A Pictorial Poop Humor Story - You're Welcome

This may, or may not, have taken place years ago. Picture me, in a car, driving to a job interview in the late afternoon after a tremendously tremendous lunch at the local Taco Bell a few hours previous. Don't forget I like to bury my Gorditas under waves of Fire sauce. Pay no attention to the elliptical machine in the background, I am on a low budget and I would appreciate it if you would get off my back already. Enjoy, bastards!

OH YEAH! Electric Avenue, I love this song. Eddie Grant is completely underrated. I'm gonna totally kill it at this job interview.

Oops! I farted.

Wait a sec. That doesn't feel or smell like a fart.

Oh no. Please tell me it's just one of those hot farts you get after eating buffalo wings at the Longbranch.

No... no I'm pretty sure I feel moisture down there.

AAAAAAAH! I SHIT MY PANTS!

Those fuckers at Taco Bell. What the hell kind of meat do they use anyway, an even mix of raccoon ass and sewer rat? Good lord, why did I use so much Fire sauce?

I feel so stupid.

Why did this have to happen now? I need this job and they most certainly won't hire the guy with the poopy khakis.

Why God why! Is this because I licked that dog's butt at that party last weekend? I swear he didn't mind. Plus I really needed the money.

But wait! I have that extra pair of corduroys in my trunk just in case I happen to shit my pants! I'll just pull into this conveniently placed convenience store and.... oh no, here comes the shit storm that's been brewing, and she's coming full force.. but I'm almost there... got the bathroom door open...

Oh sweet merciful Jesus.

Now, I just need wipe off my back and change my pants and I'll be on my way to employment! Meet your new pizza maker, Pizza Hut!

I love happy endings.