Sasquatch and Yeti V - Dick Gets His Sauce

**Previous installments of the Sasquatch and Yeti saga available in the content section at the right.**

Yeti fell to his knees. He was finding it hard to breathe normally. Could Manbeast really be responsible for the death of Sasquatch? This had to be some sick joke. Lost in thought he heard his agent Harry Sakanuts calling to him from the phone.

"Yeti! Are you still there?!"

"Yes Harry, I'm here. Listen, are you sure this isn't a joke, some elaborate prank maybe."

"Well you could ask the old lady in Arby's who had her beef and cheddar smashed by a dead Sasquatch crashing through the roof if this is a prank. I'll bet she's taking it pretty seriously."

"How can you joke at a time like this. Sasquatch is dead."

"I'm sorry Yeti, please forgive me. Do have any idea who could have done this?"

"I know exactly who did this. His name is Nickhead Manbeast. He somehow received inside information on the plans Sasquatch and I had for world domination and was posting it on his website . We had to put a stop to it so my old bowling teammate Dick Cheney had him put away. Somehow he escaped and is thirsty. Thirsty for retribution. And hungry. Hungry with desire. And horny with hunger, but only when he's thirsty with rage. But anyway I'm rambling."

"So what are we going to do?"

"I don't know yet, Harry. But keep your eyes peeled buddy. I have a feeling Manbeast is just getting started."

************************

Startled by the knock on his office door, Dick Cheney jerked his hand out of his pants and quickly closed the website he was looking at, baldingsluts.com.

"Uhhh.... who is it?"

"Dominoes pizza sir!"

"I didn't order any pizza I say!"

"It's Vice President's day Mr. Cheney. We do this every year, it's on us!"

"Oh! Come in, come in. I didn't know it was Vice President's day again so soon, luck me I say, lucky me, hahahahaha... haha......ha. HAHA!"

Manbeast opened the door and casually strolled in. Luckily he still had his Dominoes uniform from back in the day and had grabbed an empty pizza box from home. Damn this guy was good.... like super fantastic awesome balls good.

"So what do you have for me my good man? Pepperoni? Meat lovers? What is it I say, HAHA!"

"This is a new one Mr. Cheney. We created it just for you. It's called..... Yeti lovers extreme."

Cheney looked at him blankly. He took a closer look at the delivery man and it all started to make sense.

"Mr. Manbeast! Long time I say. How have you been? I'm sorry for that little incident with prison and all, we were just doing what had to be done you understand. I mean think abou...."

Manbeast smashed Cheney in the penguin beak with a left hook, breaking his nose and sending blood spurting onto his desk.

"Shut the fuck up bitch tits. I didn't come here to listen to your bullshit. I came her to give you a present."

Manbeast opened the pizza box to reveal an enema kit, full of juice and ready for action.

"Wha.. what are you going to do with that I say?"

"What do you think dumb shit? Now bend over and drop trau, unless you want me to break your face some more."

Cheney did as he was told, he knew Manbeast meant business. He dropped his pants and bent over the desk. Manbeast immediately inserted the hose and started pump, pump, pumping his way to victory.

"It's burning!!! AAAAH! What is in that bag I say!? What in the name of Bushey is in it!?"

"Oh you don't like it little Dicky? It's my own special recipe. I thought you might want a taste of what I've been dealing with in federal lockdown. It's a special mixture I like to call Tobasco Man Sauce. You see I know a few ladies from the Happy Hour Health Spa and they were nice enough to gather up a few samples for me, and the Tobasco is just for fun. Enjoy the ride my friend!"

Just when Cheney thought he could take no more the agony stopped. He turned around and Manbeast was gone. He collapsed on the floor and slowly crawled over to the phone.

Yeti's phone rang and he picked up on the first ring. All he could hear was heavy wheezing.

"Hello? Who is this? Speak damn it!"

"Yeti..... it's penguin... I mean... Dick."

"Dick thank god! I have to tell you something. Manbeast is on the loose, he's already murdered Sasquatch, I don't know who's next. Dick? Dick are you there!?!"

"He's already... been here."

"Oh no. Oh heavens to Yeti no! Are you alright Dick?!"

"Tobasco....man sauce....enema."

"What? Dick what are you saying? Dick? DIIIIIIIIICK!!!!"

The line was dead. Yeti hung up the phone. His heart was pounding harder than rabbits on cocaine. This was bad. Yeti had no idea what would happen next. At least he could count on one thing. He wasn't getting any sleep tonight.

To be continued....................

Medieval Times - A Poem

Back in the days of the sheild and the sword
A man walked the earth with a magical gourd
With a mind that was wise and reflexes quick
He had big smelly feet and a big smelly.......dog. A German Sheperd. His name was Horace.

One day on his quest he came upon some trouble
A stranded young whore whose butt was a bubble
She said to the man, "Today you're in luck."
"If you give me a ride, I'll give you a free.... cup of tea at my house."

Once inside she gave him tea and a muffin
But what she really wanted was hot dirty lovin'
She said "How is your muffin? And please won't you sit."
"The muffin is fine but the tea tastes like..... raspberry, it's quite good. Thank you."

While looking around he saw a gigantic candle
The whore said "It's pretty but it's too much to handle."
The man was confused and he asked her "What?"
"If you push really hard you can stick it in my.... cupboard, it clashes with the rest of the room I know, but it was gift."

Fishished with tea he wiped his mouth on his sleeve
He farted then yawned and stood up to leave
Not wanting him to go, the dirty whore stalls
"Stay for a bit and I'll fondle your.... hair, its so shiny and clean..healthy, its healthy."

"Thank you my dear that sounds quite nice."
"But I've just had it done, does it look like vanilla ice?"
She said "Call me sometime and we'll go get some slurpies"
"No no, the rumor around town is that you have got.... no money, and I can't afford to be buiyng slurpies for every damn whore in town."

By Nick Gates
http://informationwhore.blogspot.com
10/5/06 2006