Dear Jake "The Snake" Plummer,

Don't pay any attention to the Denver fans. I know you still have what it takes. You didn't come down from the mountains of Peru as a child only to be boo'd by the people of America. I still have faith in you, Jake. Sure, 4 interceptions and a lost fumble in the season opener is not a "stellar" or even a "decent" performance, but you will bounce back. I know this because any man who would do a press conference looking like Tommy Chong has large testicles. I'm betting on those testicles, Jake.

Your Friend and loyal Broncos fan,

Nick