Be at peace Gary Sinise, you will be rockin with Christopher Walken

I am going through a late 20's life crisis and have been searching for something to give meaning and purpose to my life. I have come up with a plan. I have created a rough outline of what needs to be done.

1. Abduct Christopher Walken and Gary Sinise.

2. Force them to start a band together named Walken With Gary. Their style of music will be a mix between Megadeth, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Young MC. After combining these three styles they will sound just like Megadeth.

3. Take Walken With Gary on a world tour with an earth-shattering opening act. Currenty the plan is to combine the bands Nelson and Hanson to form the best fist-fucking supergroup ever known. The littlest Hanson will be the leader.

4. Videotape the world tour and release a feature film from the recorded footage. The film will be named Rockin With Walken With Gary.

5. Get rich from my genius plan. With the amount of money that is sure to roll in both Walken and Sinise will forgive me and be my best friends.

I will be adding posts with updates to let you know how my plan is coming along.

1/17/07 - This weekend I decided to get busy with my plan to abduct Walken and Sinise and get the ball rolling on the world tour. It did not go well. I showed up at Sinise's house at about 5am Saturday morning and scoped the place for about 3 hours. Once I was sure no one was home I snuck in through an open window and hid in the kitchen. I had some leftover pizza and a ham sandwich while I waited for Sinise to come back. About 3pm I heard the garage door open and I prepared for action. Sinise opened the front door and as he walked past the kitchen doorway I lept out and shouted, "HAHA!" Sinise must have taken some karate or kung fu training because his reflexes were instantaneous. He hit me with a quick left jab and spun around into a full roundhouse kick to my face. The next thing I knew I was in the hospital waking up at about 5pm Sunday evening. Sinise had fractured my jaw in several places and my jaw is wired shut for a couple weeks. There is good news though. Apparently I look just like Sinise's brother-in-law and he thought it was just a prank so no charges were filed. He even sent me flowers and an apology note. I consider this a minor setback in the scheme of things and you can rest assured that by this time next year Walken With Gary will be tearing up the air waves on your local rock station. That's all for now. More updates to come.